This blog post is based on a true story.

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Well okay, maybe not, but Fargo Season Two opened interestingly enough with a scene that took place in a typewriter shop in Fargo, North Dakota (see comments!).

The signs in the window of Carriage Typewriters advertised a “Grand Re-Opening”. A clever way to get around a shortage of typewriter props.

Forget about “Underwood”, “Remington” and “Royal” typewriters, this shop seems to have been the mid-west’s sole distributor of “Watson” and “Brosette” typewriters …

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The shop’s proprietor, Skip, had big plans for Carriage Typewriters however …

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… plans that centred, ironically, around a typewriter that technically doesn’t have a carriage.

In short, Skip proposed to pay off the gambling debt he owed to the local Gerhardt crime family by letting them in on a sweet deal involving a consignment of self-correcting IBM Selectric 2 typewriters.

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Business was slack, that is until three very bad hombres – one of them trying unsuccessfully to channel Samuel L Jackson – arrived to take up the slack in Skip’s necktie using an Olympia SG1 as an item of torture-apparatus-cum-laundry-mangle …

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No escape for skip, just plenty of escapement …

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A cast-iron piece of typewriter casting I thought …

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… but to be honest it was all a bit lame. Everyone knows a typewriter never hurt anyone. Well okay, except for that time in Misery when James Caan’s character smashed Kathy Bates’ character over the head with a Royal standard …

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Sadly for Skip, things got a lot worse in Episode 2, and (as is often the case) the police arrived too late to be of any help …

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A doggedly determined deputy from Luverne comes face to face with a lone Selectric …

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… before facing off against those Kansas City thugs who mangled Skip’s necktie …

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But this time they weren’t playing with no typewriter carriages, they were playing with shotgun cartridges …

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“Step away from the Selectric and no-one gets hurt!”

BELATED SPOILER ALERT …

Given what happened to Skip, I don’t think I’ll be watching any more episodes. No more Skip, means no more typewriter action. And besides, while Season One was good, I’m afraid Season Two is showing all the signs of being a long-running cliché, a parody of a parody of the original, and we all know you can’t improve on the original: Fargo being one of my all-time favourite Coen Brothers movies along with Barton Fink …

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Now that’s the right and proper use of a typewriter!